Thursday, March 30, 2006

Styrofoam Kills. Or It Just Looks Really Nasty When It Is Decomposing

My "environmentally conscious" company released this statement the other day about the containers we get at lunch that contain an absurd amount of zucchini and summer squash:

Please Help Our Environment!
Let's try and do our part and use the available "china" and "silverware" in our cafeterias rather than the "to go" containers and "plastic" utensils. These containers are what they call "environmentally friendly," but not using them at all is the best solution! Obviously, if you are taking your lunch back to your desk, you need it in the proper container. If you're utilizing our seating in the cafeterias, however, please use our available trays, china, and silverware. When you've finished, don't forget to return all items to the proper washing areas. If you have any questions, please contact the chef in your particular building. Thanks!

OK, can me we have more unneccessary "quotation marks"? Is it not really "china"? Is it not "silverware"? Wait...is it not really "plastic"?! What else are you lying to me about??

Anyway, my main problem isn't with the plethora of dumb-ass quotation marks. My problem is that this message, originally sent out electronically, has appeared, thanks to some staunch environmentalist no doubt, printed off on paper and piled in inch-high stacks all over the cafeteria.

Oh, and we don't recycle paper here.

How classic is that! Here! Please sign my seal pelt to stop Arctic drilling.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to chop down some trees so I can erect a billboard telling people to save the rainforest.

- Dim.

**Note: It is entirely possible that this thing was driven by the catering company that doles out the meals for the company. They are two independent organizations. For the record, I have no issues with my place of employment. And yes, I'm scared of them.**

6 Comments:

Blogger Rusty said...

I laughed out loud at those last two paragraphs. Perfect!

I hate the unneccesary use of quotation marks when they're "obviously" not needed. I do use them a lot when I don't know what else to use (like the name of a song or something) but the ones in that mailing are completely extraneous.

5:18 PM  
Blogger March2theSea said...

actually we do recycle here. Its "sifted thru" at the "plant"

5:36 PM  
Blogger Dim said...

I'm such a friggin idiot. Thanks, Rust, for subtly telling me those things aren't apostrophes (which I know damn well they aren't) but quotation marks.

Why the hell did I keep writing "apostrophes" in the post? I'm fried...

- D.

6:46 PM  
Blogger B. said...

I'll sign the seal pelt when it gets passed around.

7:21 PM  
Blogger Rusty said...

Sorry, Dim. Love ya.

10:08 PM  
Blogger Jenny G said...

People are "stupid."

8:42 AM  

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