MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!
If anyone reading my blog is offended by me wishing the citizens of Dim City a Merry Christmas, I invite you to partake in a yule log suppository. Sorry...I fully intended my pre-holiday blog to be free from rants, but I woke up to 3 things that absolutely drove me crazy.
First, this story is beyond appalling. These TWO parents who have their panties in a bunch over the word "Christmas" really should be ashamed of themselves. May your holiday season be filled with rancid fruitcakes, lost electricity, and termite infestations.
Second, not a big fan of people bringing their kids to work with them. I realize daycares might be closed, but I have two words for you: "vacation day". One time this woman brought her kid into work and the little ankle-biter commenced violin practice in her office. Real nice. All I can picture when people bring their kids to work is that scene in Raising Arizona when one of Glen's kids writes "FART" on the wall of H.I.'s mobile home. Leave the whippersnappers at home. Unless you want me to come over your house during nap time and do the loud part of my job.
Finally, in my position, we have a flexible schedule. I tend to work 7:30 to 4:00. Each day, the time I arrive varies by a few minutes due to my snooze button, but I show up roughly around the same time. Every day, there are the same people here before me. They probably get in around 7:00. Now, the last working day before Christmas, our company throws this HUGE bash in one of its offices. Everybody gets to clock 0ut around 11:30 or so and attend this party, which is really something else. So, I walk into work today and I'm the only one here. All of the people who normally come in at 7:00 are nowhere to be found. They will all lolligag in around 9:30-10:00 instead to take advantage of the short day. Stuff like that really frosts me. The company is being nice...don't be a tool.
OK, now on to what this message was supposed to be about. Cyberspace is an odd bedfellow. Not that I sleep with fellows, mind you. But it can allow you the ability to communicate with people around the word, yet it heartlessly denies the personal touch we all crave this time of year. I'm sad that I can't give all of you, dear citizens, a holiday hug (complete with 2 pats on the back, instead of the customary non-holiday 1 pat), a bottle of booze, or a knicknack from my work desk that I wrapped in printer paper because you surprised me by giving me a gift when I didn't have one for you.
Regardless, I would like to wish you all a happy whatever-you-celebrate. May your religious denominational holiday be joyous. Unless, of course, you are a devil worshipper. In that case, I wish your celebration is filled with whatever level of evil you desire, provided it is only a touch of evil. The most amount of evil I can wish for you is that the lights go out on your while listening to Iron Maiden's Number of the Beast. Anything more evil than that I most assuredly cannot condone. Me? I'm a Christmas guy. So feel free to wish me a Merry Christmas. I promise I won't send the PC cops after you.
In my guilt that I cannot give you all the presents you so deserve, especially to my newfound pals Rusty & JG. I give you the next best thing. A picture of me in kindergarten. Don't spend it all in one place. And yes, I got TONS of chicks in this outfit, thank you very much.
First, this story is beyond appalling. These TWO parents who have their panties in a bunch over the word "Christmas" really should be ashamed of themselves. May your holiday season be filled with rancid fruitcakes, lost electricity, and termite infestations.
Second, not a big fan of people bringing their kids to work with them. I realize daycares might be closed, but I have two words for you: "vacation day". One time this woman brought her kid into work and the little ankle-biter commenced violin practice in her office. Real nice. All I can picture when people bring their kids to work is that scene in Raising Arizona when one of Glen's kids writes "FART" on the wall of H.I.'s mobile home. Leave the whippersnappers at home. Unless you want me to come over your house during nap time and do the loud part of my job.
Finally, in my position, we have a flexible schedule. I tend to work 7:30 to 4:00. Each day, the time I arrive varies by a few minutes due to my snooze button, but I show up roughly around the same time. Every day, there are the same people here before me. They probably get in around 7:00. Now, the last working day before Christmas, our company throws this HUGE bash in one of its offices. Everybody gets to clock 0ut around 11:30 or so and attend this party, which is really something else. So, I walk into work today and I'm the only one here. All of the people who normally come in at 7:00 are nowhere to be found. They will all lolligag in around 9:30-10:00 instead to take advantage of the short day. Stuff like that really frosts me. The company is being nice...don't be a tool.
OK, now on to what this message was supposed to be about. Cyberspace is an odd bedfellow. Not that I sleep with fellows, mind you. But it can allow you the ability to communicate with people around the word, yet it heartlessly denies the personal touch we all crave this time of year. I'm sad that I can't give all of you, dear citizens, a holiday hug (complete with 2 pats on the back, instead of the customary non-holiday 1 pat), a bottle of booze, or a knicknack from my work desk that I wrapped in printer paper because you surprised me by giving me a gift when I didn't have one for you.
Regardless, I would like to wish you all a happy whatever-you-celebrate. May your religious denominational holiday be joyous. Unless, of course, you are a devil worshipper. In that case, I wish your celebration is filled with whatever level of evil you desire, provided it is only a touch of evil. The most amount of evil I can wish for you is that the lights go out on your while listening to Iron Maiden's Number of the Beast. Anything more evil than that I most assuredly cannot condone. Me? I'm a Christmas guy. So feel free to wish me a Merry Christmas. I promise I won't send the PC cops after you.
In my guilt that I cannot give you all the presents you so deserve, especially to my newfound pals Rusty & JG. I give you the next best thing. A picture of me in kindergarten. Don't spend it all in one place. And yes, I got TONS of chicks in this outfit, thank you very much.
- Dim.
posted by Dim at 12/23/2005 07:53:00 AM
6 Comments:
OMG! You were the cutest kid ever! And that is a leisure suit! A real live leisure suit! Awesome. I didn't know you could get cooler, Dim, but you have. Wow. WOW.
Merry Christmas to you, too! Who knew something so inane as blogging could net you such pals, huh? I'm so glad to have met you. Enjoy everything this weekend with your family and friends.
And come back next week! :)
LMAO! Oh my god! The hair! The suit! Was it powder blue? That's the best present I could ever hope to receive; it's so cute! You do have that look on your face like you're a lady killer.
Have a great Christmas!
Oh yes. That was a powder blue suit. I think I have this pic in color somewhere. It really brings out my eyes. HA!
That look on my face was either that I know I'm a ladykiller, or I was having an asthma attack. Can't quite remember which.
- D.
Well you can tell by the way I use my walk, I'm a woman's man: no time to talk.
You're jive talkin'...telling me lies.
In that powder blue suit, you should be dancin'....yeah.
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