OK, honestly, I have to come clean here. I'm at my wits' end. Granted, I haven't exactly been the most consistent poster in these parts, but I pour my soul into every single blog (kinda). I try to make my blogs humourous, thought-provoking, and intelligent (kinda). I try to market my blog as a refuge for any reader willing to take a chance on a middle-aged kid with a dream (kinda).
And for the last eighteen months, what single post on my blog has been giving me the most hits? No, not the myriad of posts that I have devoted amazing amounts of time composing. No, no, no.
The one post that I get endless hits on is...wait for it..my
Amy Adams is hot post. Go ahead. Google "dim city amy adams is hot" and see what the first fucking listing is. Of all the posts I have. Of all the time and effort I have devoted to this blog, my most popular post is a throw-away entry about my personal affection for a certain redheaded actress. No, not my post on all the Christmas TV specials out there. Not even the post of me in various MySpace-esque poses. Not even me making fun of Rachael fucking Ray! Oh, how sad. What a truly pitiful world in which we live where, not only do my intricate and deep posts go unnoticed, but my shallow and pimp-worthy posts get the most hits.
Do you really think I would stoop to such vile levels to get hits on my blog? You bet your goddamn American Idol, Jonas Brothers, youtube, stimulus package, midget porn, Facebook, crock pot pulled pork recipe, boobs, what the fuck is going on with "Heroes", big boobs, Lindsay Lohan naked, Tina Fey naked (yeah, good luck with that one, asshole), Nigerian bank scam, really big boobs, NCAA basketball scores, Filet o' Fish song, Amy Adams is hot, ass I wouldn't.
So take your business elsewhere, perverts!
Love, Dim
P.S. Fall Out Boy, Gossip Girl, the Phish reunion, is Adam Lambert gay?,
Tom Cruise kills Oprah, and Barack Obama say hi.