OMG! Dim Has a New Post! ROTFLMAO!
OK, I've been gone for awhile and not quite on my A-game when it comes to being entertaining (was I ever?), but I'll ease on back into this with two random observations that I've, well, observed lately:
What is the deal with these Internet chat shortcuts? I can't stand them. It's bad enough that you can be chatting with someone who told you they look like Ali Larter when they actually look more like Danny DeVito, with more hair on their back than on their head and wearing a perpetually Spaghetti-O stained white tank, but now you have to worry about people patronizing you on-line? I'll give you this example. The other day I sent an uproariously funny comment to one of my subordinates who works right next to me. And when I tell you it was funny, it was like 30 Rock funny; not Ziggy funny.
She responded with an e-mail that read: "LOL", which, apparently means, "Yes, Dim! This was soooo uproariously funny in a non-Ziggy way that I literally laughed out loud (hence LOL) whilst reading it!"
Only one problem: I sit right next to her. I can see her face. She didn't LOL. WTF??!! Granted, I am her boss and have her career in the palm pilot of my hand, but I really don't need any sympathy LOLs. Not from her; not from anyone.
And really? ROTFLOL?! Really? Have you ever seen ANYONE actually fall down on the floor and roll around laughing after hearing a joke? Even a really good knock-knock one? Please. The only time I fell on the floor rolling around laughing was when I caught myself on fire overcooking a Pop Tart and then hit my funny bone on the kitchen table during the "drop" part of "Stop, Drop, and Roll". And even then, it was because I was suffering 2nd degree burns in confluence with knocking the shit out of my ulnar nerve. Not because someone e-mailed me a "Little Johnny" joke.
There are a couple of other Internet chat things I ran into on this page:
COTFLGOHAHA = Crawling on the Floor Laughing Guts Out and Having a Heart Attack
That's a good one. How about this instead? IASPTEAHTWIRALMGOAHAHANOWCTAAIWADOLMGOAHAHA, which means: I am so prone to exaggeration and hyperbole that when I really am laughing my guts out and having a heart attack, no one will call an ambulance and I will actually die of laughing my guts out and having a heart attack.
ILSHIBAMF = I Laughed so Hard I Broke All my Furniture
This one I can relate to. One time I saw Super Troopers and liked it so much that I took a ball peen hammer to my ottoman. Now, I'm scared to watch Napoleon Dynamite because I just got a new recliner.
SBCN = Sitting Behind the Computer, Naked
Also known as, "waiting to hear from To Catch a Predator..."
ROFFNAR = Rolling on the Floor for no Apparent Reason
This one goes back centuries. If you find yourself doing this, you might want to keep it to yourself. They used to call this "The Fits" and hung a bunch of folks in Salem, Mass. for having them over 300 years ago.
There are too many else to mention. What are some of your favorites?
Finally, I woke up this morning to a zit the size of a Buick on my nose. What am I? 14? What the hell is up with that? I can't really walk into the local pharmacy and plop down a thing of Stridex and pretend like it is for my fictional pubescent son when I have the friggin' North Star guiding Santa's sleigh on my schnozz. Not cool.
Hope to post again soon. TTFN.
- Dim.
What is the deal with these Internet chat shortcuts? I can't stand them. It's bad enough that you can be chatting with someone who told you they look like Ali Larter when they actually look more like Danny DeVito, with more hair on their back than on their head and wearing a perpetually Spaghetti-O stained white tank, but now you have to worry about people patronizing you on-line? I'll give you this example. The other day I sent an uproariously funny comment to one of my subordinates who works right next to me. And when I tell you it was funny, it was like 30 Rock funny; not Ziggy funny.
She responded with an e-mail that read: "LOL", which, apparently means, "Yes, Dim! This was soooo uproariously funny in a non-Ziggy way that I literally laughed out loud (hence LOL) whilst reading it!"
Only one problem: I sit right next to her. I can see her face. She didn't LOL. WTF??!! Granted, I am her boss and have her career in the palm pilot of my hand, but I really don't need any sympathy LOLs. Not from her; not from anyone.
And really? ROTFLOL?! Really? Have you ever seen ANYONE actually fall down on the floor and roll around laughing after hearing a joke? Even a really good knock-knock one? Please. The only time I fell on the floor rolling around laughing was when I caught myself on fire overcooking a Pop Tart and then hit my funny bone on the kitchen table during the "drop" part of "Stop, Drop, and Roll". And even then, it was because I was suffering 2nd degree burns in confluence with knocking the shit out of my ulnar nerve. Not because someone e-mailed me a "Little Johnny" joke.
There are a couple of other Internet chat things I ran into on this page:
COTFLGOHAHA = Crawling on the Floor Laughing Guts Out and Having a Heart Attack
That's a good one. How about this instead? IASPTEAHTWIRALMGOAHAHANOWCTAAIWADOLMGOAHAHA, which means: I am so prone to exaggeration and hyperbole that when I really am laughing my guts out and having a heart attack, no one will call an ambulance and I will actually die of laughing my guts out and having a heart attack.
ILSHIBAMF = I Laughed so Hard I Broke All my Furniture
This one I can relate to. One time I saw Super Troopers and liked it so much that I took a ball peen hammer to my ottoman. Now, I'm scared to watch Napoleon Dynamite because I just got a new recliner.
SBCN = Sitting Behind the Computer, Naked
Also known as, "waiting to hear from To Catch a Predator..."
ROFFNAR = Rolling on the Floor for no Apparent Reason
This one goes back centuries. If you find yourself doing this, you might want to keep it to yourself. They used to call this "The Fits" and hung a bunch of folks in Salem, Mass. for having them over 300 years ago.
There are too many else to mention. What are some of your favorites?
Finally, I woke up this morning to a zit the size of a Buick on my nose. What am I? 14? What the hell is up with that? I can't really walk into the local pharmacy and plop down a thing of Stridex and pretend like it is for my fictional pubescent son when I have the friggin' North Star guiding Santa's sleigh on my schnozz. Not cool.
Hope to post again soon. TTFN.
- Dim.
posted by Dim at 7/18/2007 02:28:00 PM
3 Comments:
I can't deal with the web talk. I refuse to acknowledge it. It's retarded.
I think I use LOL, but that's it. I really do like the "I laughed so hard I broke all my furniture." However, I would be really angry if I laughed so hard that I broke my furniture. I like my furniture!
I'm sorry...I like LOL. I also use LMAO, but that's it. None of the other web talk is worthy of use, though.
Zits suck! I don't remember how old you are, but I'm nearly 27, and I still get them continuously. When the hell does it stop??!!
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